F**k box breathing

Jul 22
3 min read

Updated: Jul 26

Britney Soll as an underwater diver in a black mask and blue wetsuit makes bubbles in clear teal water, close-up with a calm expression.

Whoever came up with the idea that every human, in all our variations and forms, should need to breathe in the same way and for the same duration must have been on something. I firmly believe that the inventor of box breathing must have been an abnormally large man with excessive lung capacity who could comfortably breathe in and out for four seconds at a time. But if, like me, in the throes of panic, you have tried to throw in a technique your physician or therapist prescribed and found that it did absolutely nothing, you’re not alone.

What is more, because we as humans currently give our agency and experience over to authority, we then believe that we are just so broken that we must be the problem. Well, no. Perhaps the way was the problem. And perhaps the idea of prescribing a one-size-fits-all approach to the body should perhaps be considered... fanciful on a generous day, demented on a not-so-generous one.

Breathing for your body

Breath is essential to living. Who knew?

Yet many of us do not breathe particularly well at baseline. By “well,” I do not mean dragging in enough air to fill every corner of the lungs. I mean breathing quietly and efficiently, allowing the diaphragm and abdomen to move rather than relying mainly on short, shallow breaths into the upper chest.

But just as ludicrous as box breathing is the idea that once we begin to spiral into panic, that is the time to learn how to breathe well.

Perhaps we need to become more familiar with our bodies, our breathing and our way of living before we are overwhelmed.

Practise when well.

Find Your Own Rhythm

Like anything in life, breathing is about finding your rhythm.

Our heart rate naturally rises slightly as we inhale and falls as we exhale. The trick, then, is to find the balance between the two that works for us. The inhale and exhale need not be equal.

There is something called a resonance frequency: the breathing pace at which your breath and heart rhythm work most effectively together. It is individual to the person. How terribly inconvenient for those hoping to prescribe us all the same square.

Finding your rhythm does not require taking an hour out of your day to practise. It can happen whenever you remember to breathe.

Notice the length of your natural inhale. Allow the exhale to extend a little. Shorten it if it becomes uncomfortable. Drop the holds entirely if they make you feel trapped. I personally dislike holding my breath, so I do not.

Get to know how you breathe.

If this feels too abstract, and you like more tangible evidence—as I do—use the live heart-rate monitor on your smartwatch. Watch your heart rate rise slightly as you inhale and fall as you exhale. See which rhythm allows the heart rate to settle.

We have a nasty habit of thinking about our experience rather than actually living inside it. Perhaps, instead of trying to run away from our panic, we should move into our breathing and become curious about it.

After all, it is highly unlikely that you will incur death by panic attack.

Probably.