Too often, we label life's challenges as something "wrong with me".
But maybe the question is not "What's wrong with me?" but "What's happened to me?"
We have all been through hardship and trauma, whether dramatic or quiet. We learn to survive the world we were born into by developing patterns of behaviour. But the patterns that once helped us make it through can end up holding us back. Sometimes we need to change—not because we are to blame, but because we are the only ones who can.
Approach to Therapy
Too often, we label life's challenges as something "wrong with me".
But maybe the question is not "What's wrong with me?" but "What's happened to me?"
We have all been through hardship and trauma, whether dramatic or quiet. We learn to survive the world we were born into by developing patterns of behaviour. But the patterns that once helped us make it through can end up holding us back. Sometimes we need to change—not because we are to blame, but because we are the only ones who can.
By combining existential philosophy with the principles of psychological flexibility, we can examine the narratives which keep us "stuck" and become open to wider possibilities.
These two approaches focus on taking meaningful, committed action toward living the fulfilling life you want to lead.
What is Existential Therapy?
In existential therapy, you are not defined by diagnostic labels; instead, you are seen as a whole and complex person. It is about understanding you, in the way you respond to your unique life challenges.
We would approach each of these problems as understandable responses to your past experiences, relationship conflicts, and general life uncertainties.
Often, our behaviours, responses, and ways of going about life once made sense and likely protected us. However, as we grow and our situations change, those responses may no longer be effective.
Existential therapy views humans as always relating to the world they inhabit through multiple overlapping layers of experience.
These layers can be viewed as different “worlds” in which we live. At times, we may face challenges in one or more of these areas:
1
Your Physical World - Body, Environment, Food
We experience the world through our bodies, and often our identity and emotional well-being are closely tied up in how we feel in—and about—our bodies. Our body is the vehicle through which we act, engage with others, and participate in life. At times, however, we may find ourselves at odds with our bodies, struggling with how they feel, function, or are perceived.
2
Your Personal World - Thoughts, Feelings, Private Experiences
We each have a private world—a space of emotions, thoughts, desires, and choices. It’s where we make sense of who we are and develop a relationship with ourselves. At times, we may get stuck—mistaking emotions for identity or believing every thought we think. We also face the challenge of staying authentic: balancing the desire to become more fully ourselves with the need to relate to and be accepted by others.
3
Your Social World - Family, Partners, Friends, Colleagues, Community
Our relationships with others shape our sense of identity and belonging. No one exists in complete isolation—though we may sometimes feel deeply alone. We are always in relation to others, even when we try to be apart from them. Navigating how we participate, set boundaries, and show up in social connections can help us understand ourselves.
4
Your Spiritual World - What makes life worth living?
There is a higher, transcendental part of us that grapples with meaning, purpose, values, and our place in the world. This is what makes us human. It’s where we reflect on what truly matters to us, what gives us the courage to say yes to life, even when it seems no longer worth living. Sometimes, we can become disconnected from what really matters to us.
Understanding Acceptance & Commitment Therapy
Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT) takes a similar approach to psychological distress. Instead of trying to change our feelings, ACT invites clients to accept them and take a step back from them.
This difference is part of what makes ACT powerful. It’s all about getting to know your inner world and changing the way you relate to your thoughts and emotions.
ACT explores how we can become entangled in language—how the stories we tell ourselves can keep us stuck. It encourages us to step back from our thoughts, to see them in context rather than as absolute truths.
At its heart, ACT is about helping us reconnect with what really matters—our values, our meaning—and asking, what’s getting in the way? From there, it’s about taking meaningful, committed action toward living the life we want to lead.
1
Acceptance vs Avoidance
Imagine trying to outrun a storm. You sprint, panic, pretend it’s not really coming—but no matter how fast you go, it catches up. And in denying it, you might miss the chance to find real shelter. You’re too busy running to notice what could actually help. That’s what it’s like when we resist difficult thoughts, feelings, and memories. The more we try to escape them, the more exhausted we become—and still, they stay with us.
Acceptance is realizing you can’t outrun the storm. So you stop. You take shelter. You let the rain fall. You don’t have to like it. You don’t have to want it. But you can choose not to fight it. And in that stillness, something shifts. The storm passes on its own time.
Imagine trying to outrun a storm. You sprint, panic, pretend it’s not really coming—but no matter how fast you go, it catches up. And in denying it, you might miss the chance to find real shelter. You’re too busy running to notice what could actually help. That’s what it’s like when we resist difficult thoughts, feelings, and memories. The more we try to escape them, the more exhausted we become—and still, they stay with us.
Acceptance is realizing you can’t outrun the storm. So you stop. You take shelter. You let the rain fall. You don’t have to like it. You don’t have to want it. But you can choose not to fight it. And in that stillness, something shifts. The storm passes on its own time.
1
Acceptance
2
Defused Thinking
Imagine sitting beside a river. Thoughts float by like leaves on the surface—some fast, some slow, some catching your eye. When we’re fused with a thought, it’s like we’ve jumped into the river and are being pulled along by the current, tangled, fused with the leaf, believing it’s true, important, urgent.
Defusion is staying on the bank. You still see the thoughts. You acknowledge them. But you don’t have to chase them, fix them, or fight them. You can simply notice, “Ah, there’s that thought again,” and let it drift downstream.
It’s not about getting rid of the thought—it’s about changing your relationship to it.
2
Diffused Thinking
Imagine sitting beside a river. Thoughts float by like leaves on the surface—some fast, some slow, some catching your eye. When we’re fused with a thought, it’s like we’ve jumped into the river and are being pulled along by the current, tangled, fused with the leaf, believing it’s true, important, urgent.
Defusion is staying on the bank. You still see the thoughts. You acknowledge them. But you don’t have to chase them, fix them, or fight them. You can simply notice, “Ah, there’s that thought again,” and let it drift downstream.
It’s not about getting rid of the thought—it’s about changing your relationship to it.
3
Present Moment Awareness
You can drink your coffee in a rush—barely tasting it, already thinking about what’s next. Or you can slow down. Feel the warmth of the cup in your hands. Notice the smell. Hear the birds. Breathe in the crisp morning air.
Same cup of coffee.
But one way, you're on autopilot. The other, you're in contact with the present moment. That's the difference. Not what you're doing—but how you're doing it.
3
Present Moment Awareness
You can drink your coffee in a rush—barely tasting it, already thinking about what’s next. Or you can slow down. Feel the warmth of the cup in your hands. Notice the smell. Hear the birds. Breathe in the crisp morning air.
Same cup of coffee.
But one way, you're on autopilot. The other, you're in contact with the present moment. That's the difference. Not what you're doing—but how you're doing it.
4
Self-as-Context
Think of it like this: there is a vast ocean, teeming with life, creatures darting in and out. Some big. Some small. Now, imagine that each of your thoughts and emotions is one of those creatures. You are the ocean, not each fish. You have thoughts and emotions, but they are not who you are.
You are more than any one thought, emotion, or experience. You are the container (ocean), not the contents (the fish) of any one thing that can define you.
4
Self-as-Context
Think of it like this: there is a vast ocean, teeming with life, creatures darting in and out. Some big. Some small. Now, imagine that each of your thoughts and emotions is one of those creatures. You are the ocean, not each fish. You have thoughts and emotions, but they are not who you are.
You are more than any one thought, emotion, or experience. You are the container (ocean), not the contents (the fish) of any one thing that can define you.
5
Values
Values are like a compass. They don’t point to a destination—they point in a direction. You can choose to move “west,” but you’ll never arrive at west. It’s not a place you reach; it’s a way of heading into the world.
That’s how values work. They don’t tell you exactly where to go, but they shape how you move. With integrity. With curiosity. With compassion. They guide the journey—not the endpoint.
5
Values
Values are like a compass. They don’t point to a destination—they point in a direction. You can choose to move “west,” but you’ll never arrive at west. It’s not a place you reach; it’s a way of heading into the world.
That’s how values work. They don’t tell you exactly where to go, but they shape how you move. With integrity. With curiosity. With compassion. They guide the journey—not the endpoint.
6
Committed Action
Imagine planting a garden. You place the seeds carefully in the soil—seeds of kindness, honesty, creativity, courage. You water them, care for them, even when you can’t see results right away.
Committed action is like that. It’s choosing to act in line with your values, even when there’s no instant reward. Some days it feels like nothing’s happening. But over time, with patience and consistency, something begins to grow.
A values-based life doesn’t bloom overnight. But if you keep showing up—tending to what matters—you build something real, rooted, and alive.
6
Committed Action
Imagine planting a garden. You place the seeds carefully in the soil—seeds of kindness, honesty, creativity, courage. You water them, care for them, even when you can’t see results right away.
Committed action is like that. It’s choosing to act in line with your values, even when there’s no instant reward. Some days it feels like nothing’s happening. But over time, with patience and consistency, something begins to grow.
A values-based life doesn’t bloom overnight. But if you keep showing up—tending to what matters—you build something real, rooted, and alive.
1
Acceptance vs Avoidance
Imagine you’re trying to hold a beach ball underwater. The harder you push it down, the more forcefully it wants to rise. That beach ball represents the distressing private experiences we try to avoid—sensations, painful thoughts, memories, and emotions.
Avoidance is the act of trying to suppress it, using up all your energy to get rid of it.
Acceptance is letting the ball float alongside you. You don’t have to like it or want it there, but you can allow it to exist without struggle. When we stop resisting what is already present, we free up energy to focus on what truly matters. And sometimes, as the ball is allowed to simply sit there in the sun, it starts to slowly shrink.
1
Acceptance
Imagine you’re trying to hold a beach ball underwater. The harder you push it down, the more forcefully it wants to rise. That beach ball represents the distressing private experiences we try to avoid—sensations, painful thoughts, memories, and emotions.
Avoidance is the act of trying to suppress it, using up all your energy to get rid of it.
Acceptance is letting the ball float alongside you. You don’t have to like it or want it there, but you can allow it to exist without struggle. When we stop resisting what is already present, we free up energy to focus on what truly matters. And sometimes, as the ball is allowed to simply sit there in the sun, it starts to slowly shrink.
1
Acceptance vs Avoidance
Imagine you’re trying to hold a beach ball underwater. The harder you push it down, the more forcefully it wants to rise. That beach ball represents the distressing private experiences we try to avoid—sensations, painful thoughts, memories, and emotions.
Avoidance is the act of trying to suppress it, using up all your energy to get rid of it.
Acceptance is letting the ball float alongside you. You don’t have to like it or want it there, but you can allow it to exist without struggle. When we stop resisting what is already present, we free up energy to focus on what truly matters. And sometimes, as the ball is allowed to simply sit there in the sun, it starts to slowly shrink.
2
Diffused Thinking
Imagine sitting beside a river. Thoughts float by like leaves on the surface—some fast, some slow, some catching your eye. When we’re fused with a thought, it’s like we’ve jumped into the river and are being pulled along by the current, tangled, fused with the leaf, believing it’s true, important, urgent.
Defusion is staying on the bank. You still see the thoughts. You acknowledge them. But you don’t have to chase them, fix them, or fight them. You can simply notice, “Ah, there’s that thought again,” and let it drift downstream.
It’s not about getting rid of the thought—it’s about changing your relationship to it.
2
Defused Thinking
Imagine sitting beside a river. Thoughts float by like leaves on the surface—some fast, some slow, some catching your eye. When we’re fused with a thought, it’s like we’ve jumped into the river and are being pulled along by the current, tangled, fused with the leaf, believing it’s true, important, urgent.
Defusion is staying on the bank. You still see the thoughts. You acknowledge them. But you don’t have to chase them, fix them, or fight them. You can simply notice, “Ah, there’s that thought again,” and let it drift downstream.
It’s not about getting rid of the thought—it’s about changing your relationship to it.
3
Present Moment Awareness
You’re driving a familiar route – home from work, for example. As you pull into the driveway, you realize that you can’t remember the trip. That’s autopilot. You were physically present, but mentally elsewhere.
Now imagine driving the same route, but this time you’re fully tuned in – the feeling of the steering wheel, the orange of the setting sun breaking the tree line, your breathing.
That’s contact with the present moment
3
Present Moment Awareness
You’re driving a familiar route – home from work, for example. As you pull into the driveway, you realize that you can’t remember the trip. That’s autopilot. You were physically present, but mentally elsewhere.
Now imagine driving the same route, but this time you’re fully tuned in – the feeling of the steering wheel, the orange of the setting sun breaking the tree line, your breathing.
That’s contact with the present moment
4
Self-as-Context
Think of it like this: there is a vast ocean, teeming with life, creatures darting in and out. Some big. Some small. Now, imagine that each of your thoughts and emotions is one of those creatures. You are the ocean, not each fish. You have thoughts and emotions, but they are not who you are.
You are more than any one thought, emotion, or experience. You are the container (ocean), not the contents (the fish) of any one thing that can define you.
4
Self-as-Context
Think of it like this: there is a vast ocean, teeming with life, creatures darting in and out. Some big. Some small. Now, imagine that each of your thoughts and emotions is one of those creatures. You are the ocean, not each fish. You have thoughts and emotions, but they are not who you are.
You are more than any one thought, emotion, or experience. You are the container (ocean), not the contents (the fish) of any one thing that can define you.
5
Values
Imagine your tombstone had just one sentence to sum up your life—not your job title, not your resume, but who you were.
What would you want it to say?
-
They lived with integrity.
-
They made people feel safe.
-
They followed their curiosity.
That’s your compass. That’s your values. They don't tell you where you should be going, but how you want to go about the journey.
5
Values
Imagine your tombstone had just one sentence to sum up your life—not your job title, not your resume, but who you were.
What would you want it to say?
-
They lived with integrity.
-
They made people feel safe.
-
They followed their curiosity.
That’s your compass. That’s your values. They don't tell you where you should be going, but how you want to go about the journey.
6
Committed Action
Imagine planting a garden. You place the seeds carefully in the soil—seeds of kindness, honesty, creativity, courage. You water them, care for them, even when you can’t see results right away.
Committed action is like that. It’s choosing to act in line with your values, even when there’s no instant reward. Some days it feels like nothing’s happening. But over time, with patience and consistency, something begins to grow.
A values-based life doesn’t bloom overnight. But if you keep showing up—tending to what matters—you build something real, rooted, and alive.
6
Committed Action
Imagine planting a garden. You place the seeds carefully in the soil—seeds of kindness, honesty, creativity, courage. You water them, care for them, even when you can’t see results right away.
Committed action is like that. It’s choosing to act in line with your values, even when there’s no instant reward. Some days it feels like nothing’s happening. But over time, with patience and consistency, something begins to grow.
A values-based life doesn’t bloom overnight. But if you keep showing up—tending to what matters—you build something real, rooted, and alive.
1
Acceptance vs Avoidance
Imagine you’re trying to hold a beach ball underwater. The harder you push it down, the more forcefully it wants to rise. That beach ball represents the distressing private experiences we try to avoid—sensations, painful thoughts, memories, and emotions.
Avoidance is the act of trying to suppress it, using up all your energy to get rid of it.
Acceptance is letting the ball float alongside you. You don’t have to like it or want it there, but you can allow it to exist without struggle. When we stop resisting what is already present, we free up energy to focus on what truly matters. And sometimes, as the ball is allowed to simply sit there in the sun, it starts to slowly shrink.
swipe
swipe
2
Defused Thinking
Imagine sitting beside a river. Thoughts float by like leaves on the surface—some fast, some slow, some catching your eye. When we’re fused with a thought, it’s like we’ve jumped into the river and are being pulled along by the current, tangled, fused with the leaf, believing it’s true, important, urgent.
Defusion is staying on the bank. You still see the thoughts. You acknowledge them. But you don’t have to chase them, fix them, or fight them. You can simply notice, “Ah, there’s that thought again,” and let it drift downstream.
It’s not about getting rid of the thought—it’s about changing your relationship to it.
swipe
swipe
3
Present Moment Awareness
You’re driving a familiar route – home from work, for example. As you pull into the driveway, you realize that you can’t remember the trip. That’s autopilot. You were physically present, but mentally elsewhere.
Now imagine driving the same route, but this time you’re fully tuned in – the feeling of the steering wheel, the orange of the setting sun breaking the tree line, your breathing.
That’s contact with the present moment
swipe
swipe
4
Self-as-Context
Think of it like this: there is a vast ocean, teeming with life, creatures darting in and out. Some big. Some small. Now, imagine that each of your thoughts and emotions is one of those creatures. You are the ocean, not each fish. You have thoughts and emotions, but they are not who you are.
You are more than any one thought, emotion, or experience. You are the container (ocean), not the contents (the fish) of any one thing that can define you.
swipe
swipe
5
Values
Imagine your tombstone had just one sentence to sum up your life—not your job title, not your resume, but who you were.
What would you want it to say?
They lived with integrity.
They made people feel safe.
They followed their curiosity.
That’s your compass. That’s your values. They don't tell you where you should be going, but how you want to go about the journey.
swipe
swipe
6
Committed Action
Imagine planting a garden. You place the seeds carefully in the soil—seeds of kindness, honesty, creativity, courage. You water them, care for them, even when you can’t see results right away.
Committed action is like that. It’s choosing to act in line with your values, even when there’s no instant reward. Some days it feels like nothing’s happening. But over time, with patience and consistency, something begins to grow.
A values-based life doesn’t bloom overnight. But if you keep showing up—tending to what matters—you build something real, rooted, and alive.
swipe
swipe