The Courage to Feel Like an Imposter

We’ve all heard that voice — “Who do you think you are?” “I don’t belong here.” That gnawing sense that you’ve fooled everyone, that your success is just luck, and it’s only a matter of time before you’re exposed, embarrassed, or called out. That’s impostor syndrome. But what if that very voice is not proof of fraudulence, but a sign that you’re on the right path? And if you are on the "right" path, how do you deal with it?

Let’s unpack impostor syndrome from four angles — psychological, behavioural, therapeutic, and philosophical.

The Dunning-Kruger Effect: Confidence Isn’t Competence

The Dunning Kruger Effect

Imposter syndrome often haunts the high achievers. That’s not a contradiction — it’s a cognitive pattern. The Dunning-Kruger effect shows that the less people know, the more confident they tend to be. With only a little experience, we may stand atop the Peak of “Mount Stupid”, filled with the certainty of the unknowing.

But as knowledge deepens, we tumble into the Valley of Despair — a dip where we realise how much we don’t know. Confidence plummets even as competence begins to grow. This is often where imposter syndrome takes root.

Here’s the paradox: when you feel like a fraud, you may actually be on the Slope of Enlightenment — gaining real expertise, becoming aware of nuance, and questioning yourself more rigorously. That’s not weakness. It’s understanding how much you don’t know.

If you’re doubting yourself, it may not be a red flag. It may be proof that you’re moving through the terrain that skilled people walk.

Now consider this: not everyone can be in the top 1% or even 5% of global experts. But if you’re already in the top 10–15%, you’re performing at an exceptional level. And yet — that may be precisely where imposter syndrome thrives.

Why? Because the more competent you become, the more painfully aware you are of those just ahead of you. Your reference point shifts upward, not downward. You compare yourself not to the average person, but to the elite few — the keynote speaker, the published scholar, the industry pioneer. And so you feel like an imposter, even though you’re standing in a position others dream of.

Here’s the tragedy: that same imposter syndrome may drive you to engage in safety behaviours — overpreparing, staying silent, avoiding exposure — which in turn can cap your growth. It becomes the reason you don’t push for that next 5%, despite the fact that you’re ready for it.

Safety Behaviours that Keep You Stuck

Imposter syndrome doesn’t just make us feel bad — it shapes how we behave. We adapt to that anxious voice in our head not by challenging it, but by trying to avoid being “found out” by avoiding situations which evoke that anxiety or could be "risky". These are called safety behaviours, and while they seem protective, they often hold us back in ways we don’t even realise.

Safety behaviours are the subtle strategies we use to manage fear — fear of judgment, failure, or exposure. They bring short-term relief, but long-term stagnation.

• You avoid starting that blog or launching a website — not because you have nothing to say, but because you fear people will pick it apart.

• You stay silent in meetings, even when you have insight — because what if someone questions you and you freeze?

• You don’t post on LinkedIn or apply for the higher role — because the thought of being called out or criticised makes your skin crawl.

• You overprepare obsessively, run your work past three people, and still feel it’s not good enough to submit.

You worry what everyone else will think. You worry they’ll call you out, show you up, and finally reveal just how incompetent you are.

But here’s the absurd twist: people with far less competence, with half your skillset, are often out there confidently voicing their opinions — in the room, online, and in leadership. And you sit back, biting your tongue, waiting until you feel “ready.”

The irony of imposter syndrome is that it silences the very people who have the most to offer.

These behaviours feel safe. But they’re not safe — they’re small. And they’re not humble — they’re self-erasing.

To move past this, we don’t need more credentials or approval. We need the courage to act without them.

Kick the "buts" → change to "and" → do it feeling like an imposter

It's time to kick the "buts" to keep things moving

Here’s the lie that imposter syndrome whispers:

• “I would apply for that role… but I feel like a fraud.”

• “I would speak up… but I’m terrified of judgment.”

• “I would start that project… but I’m too anxious.”

These “but” statements feel reasonable — protective, even. But really, they’re walls. They turn every intention into an excuse. They paralyse action until you feel confident, clear, qualified, calm. And that day rarely comes.

So it’s time to kick the ‘but’s.

And replace them with “and.”

• "I am applying for that role... and I feel like a fraud"

• “I’m speaking up... and I’m terrified of being judged.”

• “I'm taking on that project... and I feel massively underqualified.”

You don’t have to stop feeling like an imposter. You don’t have to stop feeling scared. You don’t have to banish anxiety or eliminate fear of failure or judgment.

You do it scared. You do it feeling like an imposter.

That’s the heartbeat of Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT) model: you take committed action in alignment with your values, what matters to you — even when your internal world is a mess. You act not because you feel ready, but because the action itself matters. It’s not about being fearless. It’s about being values-led in the face of fear, not led by fear.

You act with your hands shaking. You speak with your voice trembling. You create, post, launch, apply — all while feeling like an imposter.

And here’s the twist: that action is what changes the story. Because over time, as you take those steps again and again, you begin to build real evidence. You’re not relying on external validation — you’re watching yourself do the thing. You begin to see: you showed up, you delivered, you survived, maybe even did it well.

You’re proving to yourself that you are capable of living the life you want to lead. And this is where the loop closes — you move from the Valley of Despair, up the Slope of Enlightenment, and onto the Plateau of Sustainability. That top 5%, even top 1% of mastery? It isn’t built by waiting to feel confident. It’s built by doing it scared — and doing it anyway.

The Courage to Act in the Face of Fear

From the moment we’re born, we’re in relation to others. We’re shaped by how others see us, speak to us, treat us. Our sense of self is built through reflection — what the philosopher Charles Taylor called “the dialogical self.” We become who we are through mirrors — parents, teachers, peers, society. And for a time, that’s necessary. But there comes a point where you get to choose whether to keep living for what you think others might think of you, or for what you feel matters.

Imposter syndrome often shows up right there — in that tension. It’s not just “Am I good enough?” It’s “Am I even worthy of doing this?”

Ask yourself: Whose voice is that? Who told you that you weren't good enough? Whose standards are you still trying to meet?

This kind of freedom is terrifying. Sartre said we are “condemned to be free.” Because once you realise there’s no script, there’s also no excuse. You are the author. You don’t get to wait for clarity. Clarity doesn’t come first. It comes from action. From showing up for the life you’ve chosen, not just the feelings you’re feeling.

And that requires courage. Courage to act even when anxious. Courage to keep going when you’ve lost what mattered most. Courage to live a life of integrity in a world full of noise and judgment.

And yes — courage to feel like an imposter… and do it anyway.

As Mel Robbins puts it:

“Let them.” Let them judge. Let them misunderstand. Let them think whatever they’re going to think. Let them.

Because your job isn’t to manage their perceptions. Your job is to act in alignment with what matters to you — to make the small, fear-invoking, unglamorous, daily choices that move you toward the life you actually want to lead.

You don’t need everyone to get it. You don’t need everyone to like it. You just need to have the courage to keep choosing and keep taking those small, concrete steps every day.

That’s not fraudulence. That’s making use of your life and your freedom in a way that matters to you, in spite of the fear.

• Where in your life are you waiting to feel ready?

• Whose voice is keeping you quiet? And what would happen if you acted anyway?”